Grant Me This
by amburnikole
Summary: Im endeavoring to keep Snape in Character AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. **CH 3 LOADED** Sev/Herm most likely in the next ch......PLZ REVIEW!!!
1. Chapter 1

Grant Me This 

by Aurora 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Though I wish I could at least Borrow Snape for a while.I promise I would put him back where I got him. ;-)   


Hermione Granger surveyed the Hogwarts grounds with a new sense of pride. The war with Voldemort had ended less than a year ago, and this place... This magical, wonderful place was still her home. She smiled as a breeze swept around her frame, moving loose hairs into her face. She brushed them away lightly as she felt a twinge of loss in the pit of her stomach. She decided it would be ignorant of her to not reflect on what the war took from her. She lost her mentor and one of her best friends, among the many other lives that were lost.(Pureblood and not.) Voldemort didnt stay true to his empty promises and killed anyone. She smiled sadly then at the memory of her friend Ron and her surrogate mother McGonagall, after her parents deaths by Voldemort's hands. She missed them, as she missed all the lives that had been lost that fateful autumn day her seventh year. 

Harry had doubled over in pain, grasping his scar. He yelled at Ron to run, but he refused to leave Harry's side. She had watched in fear from the arms of a Deatheater holding her captive while Voldemort and the others faced down Harry, Ron, Albus, Minerva, Remus, Sirus, among hundreds of other wizards and witches.   
She remembered the surprised look on Voldemort's ugly face when the deatheater holding her had flung her from him casting the Avada Kedavra curse towards the evil incarnate. She also remembered how quickly it changed into a sinister grin as the curse was deflected back. In a spilt second Snape had moved out of the way and the curse had hit Minerva. Voldemort laughed as her lifeless body fell and turned towards Snape who was reaching for his wand that had slipped from his hands.   
She remembered picking up Minerva's wand and trying to use it on Voldemort, but had it torn from her grasp by another deatheater. She screamed which caused Voldemort to turn to her instead of Snape. Ron, in a moment of rage and fear, jumped on Voldemort and knocked him to the ground. Lucius Malfoy then stepped in.   
She remembered the look on his face as his lifeless body fell to the ground seconds after Ron's. She also remembered the look of triumph on Draco's face.   
Then things got fuzzy. She could remember only bits after that. Magic was flying everywhere. She remembered running after something, slipping and falling. Then she could only remember blackness and voices. Then she heard Harry's voice above the rest and then silence. There were strong arms picking her up, the scent of cinnamon and something else, and then nothing until she had awakened in the hospital wing amongst many others. She had looked over and saw Harry being fussed over by Ginny and then looked even furthur to the still forms on the tables in the far corner. She began to cry at the site. She saw people gathered around other survivors, all crying together. She was alone.   
Harry and Ginny did turn and smile weakly at her and she tried to do the same. Then the person in the bed after the three empty ones next to her stirred and groaned.   
She had turned towards the sound and bit back a gasp. Snape looked like hell. That plus his isolation from the rest made him look small and very much alone. She didnt remember how she got there or had even decided she would go, but somehow she ended up sitting down next to him. He looked over at her with a very tired and beaten look and talked barely above a whisper.   
"What-.....What are you doing?" he spoke, trying to sound threatening.   
She looked at him then and for once in her life saw the pain in his eyes that he masked so well.   
"Nothing. Nothing at all." she had replied while getting up and pulling a bed right next to his. She laid down on it and reached out to put his hand in hers.   
He tensed at first and looked at her searchingly.   
"You're not alone." was all she had said then before beginning to drift off into sleep.   
His grip tightened on her hand then and she grinned. He acknowledged she was right. He wasnt alone. They all had suffered from Voldemort and he wasnt the only one and neither was she.   
She still remembered the feel on his hand in hers and the smell of cinnamon.... 

"Professor Granger!"   
She chuckled to herself.   
What a way to ruin a reverie.   
She turned towards the voice of one of her first years.   
"Yes Miss Moss, what can I do for you?"   
"Um, Professor Dumbledore asked me to fetch you."   
"Still fretting that I wont eat."she mumbled.   
"What was that Professor?"   
"Nothing dear.Thank you. Tell the Professor that I shall be at dinner shortly."   
The girl smiled and nodded before running off.   
Hermione hugged herself while glancing at the now setting sun before turning towards the Great Hall.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Grant Me This 

by Aurora   
  
  


Hermione entered the Great Hall and slowly made her way to the High Table where all of the other teachers already sat. Many students watched the swirl of her dark green robes and she nodded at her House's table. She took her seat next to Trelawny and a very ominous looking Snape.   
"Glad you could join us Professor Granger." Snape spat.   
She shot him a glare.   
Silence followed for most of the meal after Snape scowled and looked at his plate.   
Hermione picked at her food absently. She hadnt really had an appetite lately and she knew Albus was worried about her. She really didnt understand herself why she was like this. She just didnt feel like eating.   
"Professor Granger, are you actually going to eat your food or are you just going to play with it?"   
"When my eating habits become your concern, then Ill bother myself with your comment."she retorted before setting back to her picking, missing his somewhat grin fade into passivness.   
She didnt see any outward reaction to her response, but she could feel him tense for a moment before bringing himself back into check. Already she regretted it. He had been trying to poke fun with her in his Snape-like way and she had just as good as slapped him.   
"Im sorry."she whispered.   
When he didnt acknowledge her, she quickly put her silverware on her plate and made to get up and leave. But, a hand on her arm stopped her ascent and she sat back down.   
"Professor Granger, may I ask where you think you are going? You havent even touched your steak, and I daresay that if you dont eat it then I will." With that he turned away from her and began a conversation with Remus Lupin. She was forgiven. 

After dinner, at the usual customary time of 9:30, Professor Hermione Granger made her way to the dungeons. Since her return from Summer vacation after her graduation and acceptance as the new Professor of Transfiguration and Head of Gryffindor House, Severus Snape and herself had a kind of friendship. They werent friends or even buddies. More like good aquaintances. They had an arrangement. She would arrive at 9:40 and she would read by his fire while he graded papers and complained about students. They occasionally had conversation, not usually, and if so was mostly about academics and studious topics. Never anything personal or engaging like small talk.They acted as if the other wasnt there. She sipped tea and occasionally on the weekends would fall asleep with her nose in a book on the couch and he would let her stay there till the morning. During the school-week she left by 11, if not sooner.   
He didnt favor her because of this. He continously berated her as still being a Gryffindor know-it-all, and accused her of favoritism at which she would retort that he was the same way with his House. He wasnt a better man, and most people would say he had gotten worse. (outwardly anyway). He was as mean as ever to his students, he had an even worse attitude and ill-temper. He let nothing change him. He would criticize her teaching habits and she criticized his right back. He cut her down at every chance, yet Hermione never took offense and neither did he. She usually knew if he was kidding, even if to everyone else it seemed as if he wasnt. She could tell by his breathing or his slight flinching or tenseing. That, she realized, did come from her time with him.   
They came to their understanding the second night she was back at Hogwarts. He had somewhat harshly and akwardly thanked her for that night in the hospital wing. She told him no thanks were needed and he invited her to stay and read from his library. She came every night after that. It was an unspoken thing, and it was understood that their understanding was a reminder that they werent alone in this still time of grieving.   
Sometimes she would look over at him from behind her book and study him. She watched his concentration and marveled at how well she knew what each look meant, what each little change in his posture meant. Sometimes she would catch him sighing and would see him look very tired and drained and would wonder. Wonder what made him the way he is, so bitter, so menacing to others. She could understand the pain, most definately, but why this deeper falling into anger she couldnt understand. Voldemort was gone and yet he acted as though he were sitting right on his shoulders every day.   
This particular night she caught him in a rare moment of outward weakness. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose and his breathing was a bit labored. She realized he had a headache and there was something else.   
"Severus?"   
He looked at her startled.   
She put her book down and walked over to him.   
He tried to look annoyed at her, but it came out like a wince instead.   
"Whats the matter?"   
"Isnt it obvious woman?!"he practically shouted, frustration evident in his voice.   
She sighed.   
"You are hopeless."   
That seemed to snap something, and she could see it come loose in his eyes.   
"Get out."   
She stepped back at the venom in his voice.   
"No."she said a bit shakily.   
"Do you need your hearing checked now, I said get out!"   
"I think you need the hearing check because I said NO!"   
He slammed his fist onto the table, but this time she stood firm.   
"And why not?!" he yelled.   
She kept her voice low and calm as she replied.   
"Because, I , unlike you, am going to do something to help you."   
Before he could say a word she help up her hand to quiet him.   
"Just sit."she said firmly before turning to go to his personal stores. She came back with a headache relief potion and held it out to him.   
"Drink. Now." was all she said.   
He looked at the bottle in her hand with disdain.   
After some silence he took it and made a scene of drinking it.   
Quietly then he spoke.   
"How did you know it was a headache?"   
"Isnt it obvious?"she replied.   
Silence.   
"But I know thats not all thats wrong with you. Look Severus, I know we dont really talk about things, but maybe we should. Whats wrong with you? Something is eating at you, I can tell."   
"Its nothing of your concern."   
"Arrogant Bastard."she mumbled.   
"what?"he asked surprisedly.   
"Selfish prick."   
"Professor Granger..."he growled.   
She moved closer to him.   
"Ignorant pig."   
"Hermione..."he said dangerously.   
"Would you like me to keep going Severus? I have lots more.....greasy git.."   
Before she could blink, Snape was out of his chair and had grabbed her by the shoulders sharply.   
"That is enough!"he bellowed tightening his grip on her. His eyes bore into hers.   
When she let out a small yelp he seemed to snap back into reality, releasing her.   
"Im sorry" she thought she heard him mutter.   
"Look. I know something is wrong, but if you dont want to tell me fine. Just....oh I dont know."   
She turned away from him to walk back to her chair but he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.   
"Why..why would you want to hear my burden. You dont need it, I assure you. "   
"Maybe I actually care."   
"Why would you do that?"   
"Because I can."   
He was silent and studied her for a moment. She saw the battle for decision pass his features and she repressed the urge to smoothe away his lines of worry.   
"I cant tell you. Not now, not yet. "   
"Grant me this then, that you will someday."   
He nodded and turned away from her to sit again, his headache fading. 

She moved back to her place by the fire and tried to read. When she couldnt get back into it she looked over at him and saw him asleep. Silently she pulled the quill from his fingertips and use Mobilcorpus to move him to his bedroom. She tucked him into his bed after removing his boots and outer robe. He awoke a little when she moved a strand of hair from his face.   
"What are you doing?"he whispered.   
"Nothing."she whispered back before turning to leave, while a sleepy Snape fell back into dreamworld.   
As she walked back to her room she re-evaluated the night's events. She had realized before that something about him got to her. He was mean, he was cruel, he was Snape. But she didnt care. She knew he was human after all and had to have some feelings somewhere, she had seen some of them that night long ago and saw even more today. She knew she felt something for him all this time, but as she closed her eyes to sleep that night she realized that she loved him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Grant Me This 

by Aurora   


The next day was Friday. Her classes were over by 2 in the afternoon and she decided to take a walk. She gathered some flowers from Sprout's garden first, before setting out. She walked the now familiar path slowly, as if she was prolonging the moments. Soon she reached the gates of the cemetary.   
Carefully she opened them and treaded softly to the two graves near the back. She was surprised to see another figure in black already sitting in front of one of them, pinching his nose again. She decided to shy back a moment to study him. He looked very tense and grave. He kept putting his head in his hands and fussing with his hair when it fell in his face. As she walked closer she thought she heard him mumbling something softly. She didnt catch most of it, but was able to make out a "sorry" before he noticed her presence and went rigid all over.   
"Its just me Severus."she spoke to reassure him.   
He visibly relaxed some, and she took in the unspoken compliment in the actions. If it were anyone else, he wouldnt have stayed there a moment longer.   
She moved to place the flowers on the grave of Minerva in front of Snape and then some on Ron's as well. She then stood for a moment and he looked at her then. He saw the play of thoughts across her face as she tried to put something together. She looked at him then and her eyes grew wide.   
"Severus, you cant possibly blame yourself for.."   
He cut her off.   
"Of course I can, and I do. Every day. I should be where she lays and she should be alive and well."   
"No Severus. No, you couldnt possibly have known that she was right behind you at that moment any more than you knew that Voldemort would deflect your curse. This is not your fault."   
She was crouching next to him now.   
He remained silent, brooding.   
"This is what has been eating at you hasnt it? Whats pulled you further into yourself...Why Voldemort still has a hold on you even from his grave. Because you choose to take all responsibility on yourself for every evil he caused. You're only one man Severus, you cant put the weight of the world on your shoulders alone."   
"You're one to talk."he began a bit darkly.   
"Wha-"   
"You eat hardly anything, you sit in my rooms every night reading your life away. You barely speak to any of your old friends. You dont care about things around you. You just seem to move like a robot. How dare you lecture me on carrying my burdens! Would you care to share why you mope about Professor Granger?! Or do you just take pleasure in pouring salt into open wounds of others and not your own."   
She stared at him in shock and barely held back pain.   
"Now if you are quite finished meddling Miss Granger, I'd ask you to either leave me in peace or stay quiet if you're going to be here."   
She looked away from him, not being able to contain her hurt any longer.   
"Fine. Excuse me for putting your needs above mine Professor. I guess that would mean I'd have to really care for you, and who would do that?" she spat in a voice mixed with anger and hurt, tears brimming her eyes. She got up quickly and moved to sit in front of Ron's grave, her back to him. She didnt see the thunderstorm of confused emotions dance in his eyes before he got up and left the cemetary. 

A few moments later she turned towards where he had been.   
"Severus, I-" she stopped when she saw he was gone and Albus Dumbledore stood there instead.   
"Hello Hermione."   
"Albus..where did..."   
"He went back to the castle. Dont worry child, he'll be alright. He just needs time, and your words didnt really only hurt him. They did help, no matter what he may let you think."   
She sighed.   
"He can be so difficult sometimes...."   
"And thats why you like him."   
She smiled.   
"Yeah, I guess so....hey! How did you know that?"   
The older man chuckled.   
"I know everything my dear. Plus, you practically told him with your last words Hermione."   
She blushed.   
"You heard all of that?"she asked sheepishly.   
"No, just from when he started to yell at you.He is right you know. You need to come to terms with what is eating at you, even if you cant seem to think what is causing it. But my guess is you know whats bothering you, and you need to fix it as soon as possible."   
She looked down at her hands then, wringing them.   
She felt her chin tipped upwards by a long finger.   
"Dont worry child. His bark is much worse than his bite."   
The old wizard smiled at her then and she turned her gaze back to Ron's grave.   
"Forever friends Ron."she whispered before turning back to an empty spot.   
"He is way too good at that..."she chuckled.   



End file.
